SMS Glitz

Chemical symbols & sardar

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:25:18 +0000

Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium? Sardar: BA Professor:For sodium? Sardar: NA Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? Sardar: BANANA

An essay on cricket match

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:23:02 +0000

Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

Sardar on date with his girlfriend

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:22:34 +0000

Sardar apni girlfriend k sath date
k liye oil mein naha k jata hai
GF: ap oil mein kiun nahay?
Sardar: meine suna tha k
har chiz meezan mein achi lagti hai;->

No word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:21:51 +0000

Hitler says,
“There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary”
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
“Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D

Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:21:07 +0000

Teacher:Story sunao
Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay
1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:20:42 +0000

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley,
1st Sardar:chal police ko de k atey hain.
2 sardar:agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?
1st sardar:jhoot bol dain gay k 1 hi mila tha :p

Sardar 2 doctor

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:20:16 +0000

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?
Sardar:Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr:aisa kub hota hay?
Sardar:Phone kartay waqt:p

Sardar garmi lagay to kia kartay ho?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:19:15 +0000

Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon :p

O tere result da ki banya?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:18:11 +0000

Sardar:O tere result da ki banya?
Pappu:Miss kendi aey es class
wich 1 sal hor laggay ga?

Sardar:Saal pavain 2,3 lag jawan par
fail na hovin mera puttar.

Sardar want to apply!

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:17:41 +0000

1 Sardar Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha
” Wanted For RAPE & MURDER ..”

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
” I Want To Apply For This Job …”

Sardar ko neend na aye to kia kare?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:00:31 +0000

1st sardar:
oye agar neend na aaey to kia kia jaey?

2nd Sardar:Neend ka intizar kernay se behtar
hai k banda soo hi jaye:p

Traffic signal for aeroplane

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:00:10 +0000

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said �India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

What is skeleton?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:58:42 +0000

Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it. but forgot to stop it..!!!

1 sardar rail ki patri per sogaya.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:58:16 +0000

1 sardar rail ki patri per sogaya. 1 admi ne kaha kia ker raho ho? Train aayegi tu mar jao gay! Sardar:Mairy oper se jahaz guzar gaya tu kuch nahin howa, rail kia cheez hay?

Examiner taking practical of sardar

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:57:15 +0000

In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it’s legs only? Sardar:I don’t know. Examiner:You failed, what’s your name? Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

Subah 5 baje phansi

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:56:59 +0000

Police:Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police:Kion has rahe ho?
Sardar:Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hon.!
hehehe:d

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:56:08 +0000

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anythi
t hear anything:-)

3 sardar after exam

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:55:45 +0000

3 sardar after exam
1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha
main paper khali chor aya hon.

2nd: Main bhi!

3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhe
gi hum ne cheating ki hay:p

Please bike taze na chalao

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:55:16 +0000

Wife:Please bike taze na chalao
mujhey dar lag raha hay.

Sardar: Agar tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay
to meri tarah ankhein band kar lay.:P

A sardar goes to a restaurant

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:54:46 +0000

A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:53:47 +0000

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

What is a grownup joke?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:52:47 +0000

A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:52:19 +0000

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Monkeys play football

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:50:18 +0000

Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.

Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.

Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

chicken bohut maze ki bani hai

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:49:47 +0000

Sardar:Begum aaj chicken
bohut maze ki bani hai kia
koi khaas masala lagaya hai ?

Sardarni:Nahi bus zara murghi jal gai
thi wo main ne BURNOL laga di thi.

A child after 3 month of marriage

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:49:19 +0000

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->

I will give both of them

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:46:28 +0000

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

Money wrapped in a rubber band?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:45:56 +0000

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

Lawyer to sardar

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:45:30 +0000

Lawyer to sardar:geeta pe hath rakho
Sardar:Kamal hai, Seeta pe hath rakha
to baat court tak pohanch gaye,
ab bol raha he geeta pe hath rakho:p

Sardar going to shikaar

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:45:05 +0000

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

Sardar ko truck ne takkar mar di

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:43:42 +0000

1 sardar airhostess se,
“Aapki shakal meri biwi si bohut milti hai!”

Hostess ne zordar thappar us k mun pe mara..
sardar forun bola:”Adat bhi bohut milti hai”

Sardar ko truck ne takkar mar di

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:34:43 +0000

Sardar ko truck ne takkar mar di

Dost: Yar jo hona tha hogaya
per tu itna dara huwa Q hai?

Sardar: Yar kion k us truck k pichay likha tha
“Phir Milenge”

Sardar ki wife inspecter se!

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:34:17 +0000

Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)

Naujawanon come forward.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:33:49 +0000

Captain:Naujawanon come forward.
Sardarji does not move.
Captain: You did not move forward, why?
Sardarji: oji you sair 9 jawanon,

I was the 10 in line!

Sardar falling in love!

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:33:19 +0000

Sardarji says I LOVE YOU to his girl friend
and suddenly falls on the floor.
Girlfriend:What is this?
Sardarji:Oji, I am falling in love!

Sardar selected a short girl to marry

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:32:32 +0000

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …:-P

3 sardar bed pe so rahy thy

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:32:04 +0000

3 sardar bed pe so rahy thy,
un tenon ko jaga theek
se nahi mil rahi thi.
phir 1 sardar bed se niche sone laga.

2nd sardar: ab jaga ho gai hai, uper ajaa.

What is the fastest thing in world?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:31:30 +0000

Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

Singh in every sardar’s name

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:30:57 +0000

Why is “SINGH” added to every sardars name?
?
?
?
Do you know?

Really u don’t know?

Bcoz of it’s hidden meaning:-
S - Sala
I - Insaan
N - Nahin
G - Gadha
H - Hay

Inam kis ko mile ga?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:30:30 +0000

Race dekhte howay sardar ne dosray se pocha:
“Inam kis ko mile ga?”
2nd:”Sub se agey waley ko”
Sardar tu phir peechay waley kion bhag rahe hain?

Tring Tring Tring.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:29:47 +0000

Tring Tring Tring.

Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

Yaar yeh joray kahan bantay hain?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:29:16 +0000

Sardar 1:yar yeh joray kahan bantay hain?
Sardar 2:Aasman par
Pehla:Abay shit yaar
Dosra: Kia howa?
Pehla: main to darzi ko day aaya

How can you make seven even?

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:28:40 +0000

Teacher to Sardar: What is Number “Seven” , Even or Odd
Sardar: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Sardar:Remove the ‘S’!!

Sardar made a call to the airport

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:28:02 +0000

Sardar made a call to the airport.

Asked,”How long is the journey from Punjab to America?”

Receiptionist: “One second sir….”.

Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!

Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:27:32 +0000

Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.

But..

makhi nahin uri,
Sardar ne kaha,
Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diye
jain to makhi sun nahin sakti

50% of sardars are not donkeys

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:26:53 +0000

Newspaper Mein News Lugi K “50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys” The Sardars Protested. Next Day News Lagi K “50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys” The Sardars Celebrated.

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:26:22 +0000

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

EK sardar ki faryad

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:21:40 +0000

Please mujhe samajhne ki
KOshish Karo

Muje mat tang kro,
Muje akela chordo,
Muje tumse koi taluq
nai raKhna,

Par ye dil rat bhar tumko hi sochta ha,

Soonay do mujhko mat aao yahan

EK sardar ne macher se faryad ki

Taxi driver to sardar

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:16:04 +0000

Taxi driver to sardar:-

Sardar ji petrol khatam ho gaya ha gaddi agay nahi ja rahi

sardar: Koi gal nahi gaddi piche lelo

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Ali — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:15:36 +0000

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did’nt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..